Stargate Christmas
by Danny Phantom SG-1
Summary: A collection of Stargate Christmas song parodies. Final song: Carol of the Gate. Complete.
1. The Little Drummer Daniel

**A/N: Here starts my collection of Stargate Christmas song parodies accumulated throughout the past 4 years. If all goes according to plan, there shall be 15--one every day from now until Christmas Eve, tentatively. The first is to the tune of "The Little Drummer Boy" and expresses the events of Stargate the movie. **

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_The Little Drummer Daniel_

Come, she told me, pa rum pum pum pum

An artifact to see, pa rum pum pum pum

Your few belongings bring, pa rum pum pum pum

To do some translating, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum

We may honor you, pa rum pum pum pum

When you're done.

The Gate, you will go through, pa rum pum pum pum

I'll translate symbols for you, pa rum pum pum pum

To Abydos through the ring, pa rum pum pum pum

To find Ra, their king, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum

Shall we kill the Goa'uld, pa rum pum pum pum

When we come?

Skaara nodded, pa rum pum pum pum

The bomb's counting down time, pa rum pum pum pum

We blew up his spaceship, pa rum pum pum pum

So happy, we did flips, pa rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum

Then, Sha're smiled at me, pa rum pum pum pum

Bundie-way!


	2. Carter? Do You Hear What I Hear?

**To the tune of: "Do You Hear What I Hear?"**

* * *

_"Uh…Carter? Do You Hear What I Hear?"_

Said Daniel Jackson to Jack O'Neill,

"Do you see what I see?

Way up in the sky, Jack O'Neill,

Do you see what I see?

A ship, a ship, a Goa'uld spaceship! It's so big I can't see the sky!

Maybe we should all run and hide…"

Said Jack O'Neill to Sam Carter,

"Do you hear what I hear?

Coming from the ground, Sam Carter,

Do you hear what I hear?

A sound, a sound, coming from the ground, and some bright glowing light it brings…"

They were transported up by the rings.

Said SG-1 to the evil Goa'uld,

"You don't know what we know!

In your grand spaceship, evil Goa'uld,

You don't know what we know!

The codes, the codes, you use our GDO's to open the Earth's Stargate.

Now we'll shoot you and make our escape."

Said SG-1 to the citizens,

"Listen to what we say.

That Goa'uld was not a god, citizens.

Listen to what we say!"

So said Teal'c, Daniel, Jack and even Sam, "So do not be filled with dread,

For we know the Goa'uld is now dead!"


	3. Symbiotes Roasting

**To the tune of: "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)"**

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_The Stargate Song (Symbiotes Roasting on an Open Fire)_

Symbiotes roasting on an open fire,

Jack O'Neill nipping at your nose,

Tok'ra carols being sung by Jaffa,

And Sam dressed up like an Eskimo.

Everybody knows some Daniel and some mistletoe

Help to make the season bright.

Tiny Goa'ulds, with their eyes all aglow,

Will find it hard to beat Teal'c tonight.

They know SG-1 is on their way!

They've loaded lots of guns with bullets for their day.

And all the General's folk are gonna spy

To see if pyramids really know how to fly…

And so we're offering Dr. Fraiser's phrase,

Since you have had a symbiote,

Although your life will be changed in many ways,

Here's tretonin for you.


	4. Joy to the World

**To the tune of "Joy to the World" (Two stanzas)**

**Some of this is pushing it with the rhythm...hopefully it's okay, though. Review and let me know, eh?**

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_Joy to the World_

Joy to the world, the Goa'uld are dead.

"We've won!" the Tok'ra said.

"We've beaten down their compounds

Now there are no more abound."

SG-1 and Tok'ra sing, SG-1 and Tok'ra sing,

SG-1, SG-1 and Tok'ra sing!

Joy to the Earth, the Goa'uld won't reign.

The team proclaims its joy!

Through stars and planets, rocks, hills and plains

Repeat the Tok'ra's joy, repeat the Tok'ra's joy,

Repeat, repeat the Tok'ra's joy!


	5. Twelve Days of Stargate

**To the tune of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" because...well, there's twelve days until Christmas! **

**Enjoy!**

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_Twelve Days of Stargate_

On the first day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

An Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the second day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the third day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the fourth day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the fifth day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Five Goa'uld rings!

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the sixth day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Six monks-a-praying,

Five Goa'uld rings!

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the seventh day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Seven symbiotes swimming,

Six monks-a-praying

Five Goa'uld rings!

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the eighth day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Eight Tok'ra sulking,

Seven symbiotes swimming,

Six monks-a-praying,

Five Goa'uld rings!

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the ninth day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Nine Jaffa lancing,

Eight Tok'ra sulking,

Seven symbiotes swimming,

Six monks-a-praying,

Five Goa'uld rings!

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the tenth day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Ten computers beeping,

Nine Jaffa lancing,

Eight Tok'ra sulking,

Seven symbiotes swimming,

Six monks-a-praying,

Five Goa'uld rings!

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Eleven Tollans griping,

Ten computers beeping,

Nine Jaffa lancing,

Eight Tok'ra sulking,

Seven symbiotes swimming,

Six monks-a-praying,

Five Goa'uld rings!

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Daniel gave to me:

Twelve Nox a-humming,

Eleven Tollans griping,

Ten computers beeping,

Nine Jaffa lancing,

Eight Tok'ra sulking,

Seven symbiotes swimming,

Six monks-a-praying,

Five Goa'uld rings!

Four Ancient words,

Three Unas dens,

Two hazmat gloves,

And an Asgard with his whole fleet!


	6. Hark O Hammond

**Pretty short, but not my shortest. :) I think that award goes to "Feliz Navidad," but that's for another day.**

**To the tune of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"**

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_Hark, O Hammond_

Hark, O Hammond, we have won.

They're no more; the Goa'uld are done!

Peace on Earth and universe wide,

All our enemies have died!

SG-1 got them again

Now, no longer will they reign

Hark, O Hammond, we have won!

They're no more; the Goa'uld are done!


	7. Thor the Asgard

**I'm afraid I can't take full credit for this one. One of my friends wrote it. But you can review anyway, right? **

**To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman" and in honor of Michael Shanks' birthday.**

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_Thor the Asgard _

Thor the Asgard

Is a really cute alien

With a little gray body and two tiny hands

And the voice of Michael Shanks.

Thor the Asgard,

Supreme Commander of his fleet.

He is just a doll who wishes he were tall

So we'd never see his feet.

There must be some technology

In that chair he's always in,

'Cause when it transports yellow food,

Sam spits it out again!

Thor the Asgard,

Is the cutest little gray guy.

So, remember to wave

When you see a space-

Ship up in the sky!


	8. Hammond We Have Heard on High

**To the tune of "Angels We Have Heard on High" with a little bit of Stargate Atlantis season one mixed in.**

* * *

_Hammond We Have Heard on High_

Hammond we have heard on high

Speaking through the wormhole.

And SG-1 in reply

Reports the progress of their goal.

Sta-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-argate

SG-1 and Atlantis

Sta-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-argate

SG-1 and Atlantis

Sheppard, why did you go

To Atlantis, anyway,

With Weir, Ford and Teyla

And also Beckett and McKay?

Sta-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-argate

SG-1 and Atlantis

Sta-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-argate

SG-1 and Atlantis


	9. Jingle Gate

**To the tune of "Jingle Bells." Enjoy...and let me know if you like it, please. :)**

* * *

_Jingle Gate_

Dashing through the wormhole

In Air Force combat boots

We see the Jaffa,

Now shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot!

Blasts from staff weapons

Making bright orange light

What fun it is to zat Jaffa on this planet tonight!

Oh, zat, zat, zat, zat, zat, zat, zatting through the night,

Oh what fun it is to zat the Jaffa with all our might!

Oh, zat, zat, zat, zat, zat, zat, zatting through the night,

We are zatting all of them to set this planet right!


	10. Away in Atlantis

**To the tune of "Away in a Manger." Technically, this is an Atlantis piece, but I really didn't think that all 65 words of it were worth creating an entire separate story. :) Enjoy and let me know what you think.**

* * *

_Away in Atlantis_

Away in Atlantis, no power for their 'Gate,

The little lost city must just sit and wait.

The Wraith in the sky are heading their way,

But little Atlantis can keep them at bay.

The spaceships are coming, the city awaits,

And Dr. McKay, some whining he makes.

They all miss their homes, but now they must fight

To stay in Atlantis and be safe tonight.


	11. Stargate Navidad

**To the tune of "Feliz Navidad," written with the help of a friend.**

* * *

_Stargate Navidad_

Stargate SG-1…..Stargate SG-1…..Stargate SG-1

Having fun blowing up the sun.

Stargate SG-1…..Stargate SG-1…..Stargate SG-1

Having fun blowing up the sun.

We want to wish you a Goa'uld-less Christmas.

We want to wish you a Goa'uld-less Christmas.

We want to wish you a Goa'uld-less Christmas

From the bottom of our skulls!

Stargate Atlantis…..Stargate Atlantis…..Stargate Atlantis

The Ancient city is hard to miss.

Stargate Atlantis…..Stargate Atlantis…..Stargate Atlantis

The Ancient city is hard to miss.

We want to wish you a Wraith-less Christmas.

We want to wish you a Wraith-less Christmas.

We want to wish you a Wraith-less Christmas

From the bottom of our hearts!


	12. We Four Members of SG1

**To the tune of "We Three Kings." Yeah, so...apparently this one is the shortest so far. It looked longer on paper...let me know how you like it, anyway.**

* * *

_We Four Members of SG-1_

We four members of SG-1 are

On this new planet, we traveled so far

Through the wormhole, through the Stargate

Traveling through the stars.

Oh…

'Gate of wonder, 'Gate of might,

'Gate with fluctuations bright.

Skyward leading, through the sparkling

Water-like horizon!


	13. Oh Stargate Here Comes Danny Boy

**Double parody chapter: one by me and one generously submitted by a clever reviewer.**

**First song: To the tune of "Oh, Christmas Tree!"**

**Second song: Written by Samandjackforever. Thank her for telling me to post it here. To the tune of "Here Comes Santa Claus."**

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_Oh, Stargate!_

Oh Stargate, oh Stargate,

How lovely are your chevrons!

Oh Stargate, oh Stargate,

How lovely are your chevrons!

They glow up and spin around

To take us to a strange new town.

Oh Stargate, oh Stargate,

How lovely are your chevrons!

* * *

_Here Comes Danny Boy_

Here comes Danny boy, here comes Danny boy

Right down Egyptian lane.

Jack and Teal'c and Carter, too

Are following the same.

So many Artifacts to discover,

Oh what a wonderful sight.

Break out the coffee and the ancient scrolls

'Cause Danny boy's here tonight!


	14. Jolly Stargate Christmas

**To the tune of "Holly Jolly Christmas." This one's, admittedly, not my best work. I'm just easing my way into tomorrow's, which shall be the last one of the year. Merry Christmas and see you tomorrow for one last post! **

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_Jolly Stargate Christmas_

Have a jolly Stargate Christmas,

They're the best team of the year.

I don't know if they will go

Or run away in fear.

Have a jolly Stargate Christmas,

And when you walk down the street,

Say hello to aliens you know,

And shoot the Goa'uld you meet.

Oh, oh the mistletoe, hung beneath the 'Gate.

When Daniel and Vala meet, they will no longer hate!

Have a jolly Stargate Christmas,

And in case you didn't hear,

Oh, by golly, have a jolly Stargate Christmas

This year!


	15. Carol of the Gate

**To the tune of "Carol of the Bells" and expresses the events of the beginning of Stargate SG-1's ninth season.**

**Well...here it is. The last Stargate Christmas song parody I have on hand. Thanks to everyone who has read and stuck with this collection. Your readership is incredibly important to me. Thanks for all of the feedback I have received for these. I hope this ends on a good note.**

* * *

_Carol of the Gate_

Jack O'Neill's gone, the base carries on.

Mitchell is here, new enemies to fear.

Daniel has to stay, Teal'c's got more to say.

Carter returned, Vala got burned.

Landry's in charge, Chevron Man's a Sarge.

Ori are bad, making them sad.

Priors are dumb, they shouldn't come.

Baal has some clones, Atlantis comes home.

There's a new team, everything's extreme,

Getting our fill with such a thrill.

Prometheus and Daedalus

Fly through the skies, open your eyes.

That's the start of Stargate's season nine.

That's the start of Stargate's season nine.

On with the show, on, on it goes

Everywhere it's shown in ev'ry home.

(Repeat)

We love Stargate!


End file.
